Swine flu. Run for my life!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
