thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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