So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
