y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
