Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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