And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
