My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
