did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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