Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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