I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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