pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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