What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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