My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
