What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize