she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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