Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
