He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you had me at cake vodka
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
