found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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