I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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