Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
