Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
