I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
there is puke in my bra ... again
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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