Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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