OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
