If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
is it fun? or sober?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
