She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
