i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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