Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
