I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
