This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
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After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
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our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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