Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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