sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
