I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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