your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
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my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
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I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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