the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
