Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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