I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
