Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
