Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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