you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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