So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
