Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
