i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
