Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
