please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
