Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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