Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just gift wrapped bread.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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