i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
