he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
