if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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