So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You need a sexual gate keeper
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
