Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
