I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
