can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you didnt know i had herpes?
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whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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