It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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