I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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