I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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